Attacks from Vom Tag and why it is a good thing that Jack Donaldson does not want to come to the attention of his parole officer

The story so far.

In case you’ve only just discovered this blog it is the story of how I, Oliver Fitzgerald went from total loser (nerd) to kick-arse fighter (knight). This transformation happened when I learnt the coolest martial art in the world, aka German Longsword.

But knights—like superheroes—must use their powers for good and—unlike superheroes—do not usually have an alter-ego to hide behind so when I took a baseball bat off a Jack Donaldson (bully) I ended up in trouble with the police.

And my martial arts instructor, Master Raske, but at least he understood about Vom Tag and slaying dragons and though he said doing Krumphau with a baseball bat was a new level of stupidity even for a trainee squire he does believe that I didn’t mean to hurt Jack.

By the look on Sargent Harris’s face I doubt the police will be as understanding.

‘You’re in a lot of trouble young man, a lot of trouble.’

‘What about Jack?’ I want to say, but after a look at Master Raske (there as my adult support person so that I can delay being killed by my mother until all this is over) I content myself with the ever useful, ‘Sorry, Sir.’

The Sargent doesn’t look mollified. He holds up the report Constable Olssen took and I wait for questions about the noble sheep grip (the wrestling technique that I used to take the bat off Jack which btw has nothing to do with sheep), Vom Tag (or roof, a guard) or other questions about the techniques of German longsword by policemen who don’t actually want to know, which is a pity because I would much prefer explain longsword than my behaviour.

‘Why did you hit him?’ he asks instead.

‘What?

The Sargent, whose got a faded red crew-cut and pale-blue cop-eyes and an expression—now I come to look at it—that says you can trust me, kid, provided you tell me the truth, asks again. ‘Why’d you hit Jack, Oliver? Was he threatening you?’

Yes. I want to say, because Jack is a bully and known to the police and that would be a perfect excuse for anything I did but along with defending the weak and showing courage a knight must also tell the truth.

‘No,’ I say. ‘Not then. He just wanted his bat back and Caleb was standing behind me and Jack was glaring at him and I wasn’t sure I had the skill or the guts to defend him twice and I didn’t think that would be a good idea.’

‘So.’ He looks at the report again and I am surprised to see that unlike hospital nurses and teachers he seems to have actually read it. ‘Jack’s on the ground and you’ve got his bat in this voom-tag grip.’

‘Vom Tag,’ I correct. ‘And it’s a guard not a grip though hand position is important and..’

An ice-quick look at both me and Master Raske confirms that my comment is neither taking the piss nor relevant. ‘And he asks for the bat back. Did he threaten you?’

‘He called me a crazy nutter.’ Sargent Harris’s expression shows some understanding of this. ‘But he didn’t threaten me then, he just held out his hand.’

‘Which you hit.’

‘It was just a tap.’ I think about how Jack had sworn and held his arm. ‘It was supposed to be a tap,’ I qualify, ‘but I guess the crossed arms gave it percussive force and…’

The Sargent’s still looking like an advertisement for one of those British cop shows (where the actors are half as beautiful and twice as tough as their American counterparts) and Master Raske is still looking cross at my inappropriate use of Krumphau and I may as well know the worst so.

‘Are you going to charge me with assault?’

‘No.’

‘What? I mean, that’s good but?’

‘I could charge you.’ His expression, as well as his words, makes that very clear. ‘Under Australian law you have the right to defend yourself but NOT to attack once you have the upper hand.’

I had the upper hand? I suppose I did.

‘Is that clear?’

Yes. Very clear. Much clearer than our legal studies teacher and if Sargent Harris wasn’t so obviously a born cop he should consider a career in teaching and … he’s still waiting for me to respond.

‘Yes,’ I say. ‘Very clear. Thank you. Can I go now?’

‘After you’ve signed the report that will be made of this incident.’

I’m going to have a police record? Mum is going to kill me. ‘But then I can go?’

‘Then you can go,’ he admits. ‘But if something like this happens again?’

‘It won’t,’ Master Raske says and I realise I’m still in trouble. ‘But what if Jack wants to press charges,’ he adds. ‘What happens then?’

Sargent Harris and me look at each other and I think we’re both thinking about Jack Donaldson, and how he’s already been in trouble with the police and how he’s not going to want to come to the attention of his parole officer again and how giving a dog a bad name is not always unjust and…

‘I don’t think we’ll have a problem with that,’ the Sargent says. If you’ll wait in the other room Oliver, I want to have a word with Mr. Raske here.’

And as I close the door behind me I hear him say. ‘Colin Raske, what on earth have you been teaching that boy?’

Roof

So we thought the next thing you needed to know was about the guards. About how to use them and what you can do from each of them – your offenses and defenses.

So while we’re on the topic, here’s how NOT to hold Vom Tag.

Not with you right foot forward – you won’t be able to step with your cut.

Not ‘lazy’ vom tag. This guard is all about powerful cuts. Why would you hold it in a way that can’t make powerful cuts?

And NOT with the point trailing back over your back. I’m exaggerating here, but it’s just dumb.

Like this! With the sword on your right shoulder, ready to make a powerful cut. Beacause from Roof, that’s pretty much what you do – you cut. You can make all of the father cuts (oberhau, unterhau and mittelhau) and all of the master cuts from Vom Tag. And you can use those cuts for offence and defence. Ideally, for both!

OFFENCES

We’ve covered these before – oberhau and unterhau, but the video gives you more help about how to practise them too.  I’m practIsing these skills in it because I’m still working on my basics. You can see that although you might think making a cut is easy there are lots of things that go wrong. A good fencer never stops working on their basics.

Just remember:

1. The point or edge lead you straight to the opening. Cut as directly as possible.
2. Your sword is your shield – step behind it so that you are better protected against a counter-attack.

You can also throw thrusts from Roof. If you cut an oberhau a little bit short, this sets up the point for a follow up attack (It’s also a zornhau). And as the unterhau ends in och, you can make a thrust from there too. Every cut has a thrust. This will be very useful for defences.

DEFENCES

Surprise! We’re cutting again! Against most attacks you cut strongly onto your opponents sword, beating it down or aside, and ending with a thrust. This is one of my favourite things to do. It’s pretty simple, if you have a good sense of distance. You want to cut so that you control your opponent’s sword. More on that in the video.

Stabs, however, can be pretty tricky to deal with in Vom Tag. It’s very easy to miss them, or be deceived by them. So against a stab, we step a little off to the side and beat down the point with an oberhau or krumphau. I’ve talked a lot about krumphau. So does Master Raske – “If you don’t know what to do – krump!” So using it against Jack was completely understandable – I was just doing as Master Raske said.

Nup, pigs will fly before that argument does.

But back to swordplay. Finally, if they’re attacking low (like for your legs) you can out-range them by slipping your legs back and striking to a high target. This called an uberlauffen (over-running) and it’s dead simple. It’s also the reason why our low strikes with the longsword are quite high (to the hips, with the hands high). Otherwise we’d be in real danger of this strike.

That’s it for this week. Look out for next week, when we do Ochs.