You’re Doing it All Wrong, or The Weekend Where Everything Went Right

Last weekend Stoccata, Australia’s oldest HEMA school, hosted a fantastic conference bringing together many of the country’s finest instructors and fencers. It was a privilege to have been a part of it, so here is our (somewhat tongue in cheek) tribute to the event.

Stuart McDermid shares some of his insights into Meyer rappier.

Sporting Equipment

‘What’s in the bag?’

A Federschwert, a rapier, a broadsword, two dussacks and a parrying dagger, all of which are restricted items in Melbourne and the knife is questionable in Sydney.

I smile at the lady at the baggage counter. ‘Sporting equipment,’ I tell her and she send me down to the oversize baggage station.

Where I run into another ‘sporting type’ off to the same event though as Andrew Kenner is teaching I- 33 not longsword his bag’s a little shorter than mine. Not much though because he’s got a rapier or two in that bag as well. Doesn’t everyone take a case of sharp pointy things to a conference?

Well, everyone I know does. And standing on the Baden Powell parade ground surrounded by bush, surprisingly luxurious cabins and a dozen people with nine-foot long quarterstaves I have a moment’s sympathy for those ‘ordinary’ folks whose idea of a conference is power-point, lecture halls and men in suits. Because if you’re a HEMA nut then your conference is sticks and swords and throwing each other on the ground and the closest thing you’ll get to a graph is Steve Hand and Andrew Kenner  arguing over a funny looking picture of two monks with swords and shields.

A friendly and welcoming gathering of enthusiasts

AWMACs II (Australasian Western Martial Arts Convention) gets underway Friday night with an in depth discussion (over Pizza) of such important HEMA issues as:

• If Callum and Colin have unearthed the secrets of all marital arts why can they not afford better pyjamas? (or Music?)
• Is Paul Wagner right about the protective powers of air or has he seen too many kung fu movies and now believes that taking off your shirt will give you extra hit points?
• Is Melbourne (where you can now get a deconstructed cappuccino and be formally introduced to your cheeses) still weirder than Sydney which really has a temperance bar?
• Will Darkwood ever produce a good sword again?
• Gauntlets. More gantlets. Why don’t Red Dragon produce mittens? Do the SPES heavy’s wear in well? (answer yes) Has anyone heard any more about the pro-gantlet? (answer no, hell will freeze over before we can buy one).
• And the old timer discussion of ‘back in my day (i.e. five years ago) we didn’t have this stuff and if we wanted protection we had to make it ourselves.

Really when you consider that the conversation also included references to Doctor Who, medieval marginalia and manuscripts, and an extra order of pizza the only surprising fact was that Paul didn’t once tell us that we were doing it all wrong.

But it’s early days yet.

Allonya Cullinan displaying focus with the rapier

Swords and Fire

Does it get any better? The weather is amazing. Last week Sydney was literally underwater, and the floods meant that the bonfires built for the girl guide camp couldn’t be lit. The perfect weather all this weekend has meant that we can. Oh, apart from the fact that the afore-mentioned floods have soaked the wood. But we have pizza boxes, matches and beer to drink while Fire-Dan (a much cooler moniker than MunDan) and friends create an actual air tunnel, find some dry leaves and soon we have fire to go with the swords, beer and great conversation.

HEMA discussion can get pretty heated. Just look at the latest flame war over the failure of a gambeson to protect a rock melon. 😉  Mind you, a conversation that starts with the statement ‘You’re doing it all wrong’ rarely ends with peaceful agreement (unless you happen to be talking to Bill Carew, The Reasonable Man).

But around the bonfire this weekend the only flames came from the fire as Stoccata, Adelaide Sword Academy, Collegium in Armis, Fechtschule Victoria, The School of Historical Fencing, Victorian Historical Combat Academy, and Fitzroy College of Arms, not to mention re-enactors, SCA and HEMA (don’t those elements explode when you put them together?) talked about everything from tourney rules to Silver’s true name, fire construction to dealing with epilepsy,  Meyer’s rapier to the best way to fight with a lightsaber (complete with people on the sidelines throwing boxes to simulate force powers). And if I found it pretty awesome that (according to Mr Physicist/Evil Scientist/Gareth) even if we can’t yet create a lightsaber the sums suggest it’s theoretically possible,  it’s the sight of different groups working together that was the advance HEMA in Australia actually needs.

Enthusiastic sparring after dark

A furious agreement.

Which is not to say there weren’t some fireworks when four different experts got together for a round table discussion on I-33. Now ‘round table discussion’ makes one think of an old Star Trek episode while people in silly costumes sit around a long oval table and ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAPPENS.

It wasn’t like that.

The likely culprits

Lots happened. And there were swords, and bucklers, and no table. And Paul and Michael Brown bonding on the strategy of ‘just hit the buggers’. While Steve Hand agreed that medieval monks don’t stand still to be stabbed, it was Andrew who provided the highlight of the evening when he announced Paul and Steve’s interpretation of falling under the sword was ‘shit’ and ‘that doesn’t work.’

‘So get up off the seat and show us,’ is Paul’s response.

As these are clearly fighting words, Andrew picks up his sword and shows them.

Bam! Andrew convincingly displays his interpretation.

‘You’re using too much distance,’ is his criticism, followed by a discussion of how to angle the sword and whether it’s long point brought back. And after about five minutes of practical—aka sword clashing—discussion Steve announces he can live with that interpretation.       And that it’s similar to something Tim Hendry often does. Though Tim (who has left his top-hat but not his sartorial arrogance at the door) is quick to point out that though Paul might be right, his own parry is of course, far more sophisticated.

Perhaps, but sophistication does not seem the order of the day. With phrases like: ‘over-bind and hit them’, ‘if they do nothing stab them in the face’, ‘cut under the shield though it may be a bit wussy’ (‘It wasn’t a wussy cut, Paul, I had bruises’ – Steve), and ‘try a spike on your shield, it’s a bit nasty but it does make your binds more effective’; what we are “discussing” is definitely pragmatic swordplay. And as Michael said (though Andrew might fairly argue the point) our I-33 experts were often in furious agreement.

Doing It All Wrong.

But in case you wondered in between wrestling (“Just lift your leg like a dog taking a piss”- Terry Williams), Quarterstaff 101 (“Into his kidney’s—that’s it!”), longsword (“Oh shit I’m in the nach”), Meyer Rapier (“Yeah, like he says, ‘in the manner of the slice’ yada yada yada”) and a list of workshops I didn’t manage to get to Paul did announce that there will be a new hi-res set of Angelo’s plates available soon. And that apparently they’ll show us WE’RE DOING IT ALL WRONG!

“That’s the way you do it!”

Told you we’d get there in the end.

AWMACs 2016

 

 

Kids with Swords

“What do you want to be a knight for, Fitz?”

“So I can slay dragons,’ I tell her. ‘Or maybe not actual dragons,’ I qualify. ‘Cause actual dragons would be awesome but fantasy dragons.”

Eliots eyebrows scrunch together. “Fantasy dragons?

“Yeah.”

“Dragons that don’t exist.”

“Yeah.”

“You want to be a knight to slay dragons that don’t exist.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re crazy Fitz.”

Are we crazy? Grown adults playing with swords and daggers and yes, it’s a sport but is that the only reason we’re doing it? Aren’t we also enjoying the fact that we can finally be that kick-arse dragon-slayer, 20^th level fighter or Jedi knight for real. (Speaking of which could someone please teach the Jedi academy some handworks and point out that there are other guards apart from plough.) Almost all HEMA people I know would love the opportunity to fight a dragon—or maybe an ogre or a troll or a Sith lord, but I think you get the point—and have done so since they were a kid.

So here’s a group of our kids, with swords, slaying monsters in the forest.

The quest about to begin

The plague has struck, the village is dying, the witch will grant you the antidote but only if you complete the quest and bring back the gold. Four groups of adventurers set out; their ages ranging from 8 to 15, their weapons include a flaming sword, a hammer/sickle, swords, daggers, axes, an invisibility cloak (because otherwise I don’t see how Thorin could have got that close to the dragon) and a willingness to bribe the monsters with cake. The adventure has begun.

Across the path and through the gate

Where the logs do fall

But remember cub it is your fate

To run with the wolves for a spell

Not that way, this way, yes I know it says through the gate but we moved the wolves after we wrote the poem and can’t you hear then howling? Kids crouched amongst the logs learning the lore of the wolf and then running through the forest, it sure beats a regular PE lesson.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The path runs clear

Or it did in the past

Now the knight holds the gate

And none shall pass

We have squires. They know something about longsword. They don’t know nearly as much about armoured fighting. So of course they want to be the Black Knight. Or the Dark Knight, or the Knight of Doom or ‘just put the mail on and get over to the gate will you, we can discuss the name later’. Just be prepared to fight, kill, die and be bribed with cake.

bribe them

or slay them!

In the pens far away lie monsters

In the power of Wizard Wurst

Fight with courage and honour

But beware the wizards curse

Where you have kids dressing up and fighting with swords you have Dads who would really like to dress up and fight witch swords too. The great wizard orchestrated true D&D style fighting as adventures battled a minotaur, a giant spider and an evil bird before being caught by the wizard and turned into goblins.

Guess that’s worth a few XP.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Close to your home

Do the ogres call

United they stand

But divided they fall

That’s a clue guys. You’re supposed to get the ogres to turn on each other (and come on it’s James and Rhys, they’ll fight each other because it’s Tuesday) not just attack them together. But adventurers are not known for their wisdom and CHARGE!!!

Are you sure we have to stop hitting them when they go down?

 

Follow the sun across the ditch

And the find three huts all made of string

The goblins have coin to pay the witch

But Beware the Goblin King

Actually it’s only one hut as we spent most of the morning making weapons (does that poleaxe really have three axe-blades?) so we only had an hour to make a hut. But it’s a good sized enclose and the goblins have missile weapons and ‘what do you mean no one in the group has a shield?’ and the goblin king is Hamish and he’s got a spear so RUN!!!

Across the path and through the woods

Lies treasure beyond your dreams

But sneak don’t fight, if you hurt his babe

Daddy dragon will hear your screams

Or, at least your pitiful human excuses as Daddy Dragon Mordred lectures another set of adventurers on why—or how—he’s going to kill them if they steal his gold. Cunning was in order but smash and grab appeared to be most adventuring parties style. Only one group managed distraction and true theft and were sure they used an invisibility cloak.

However, I am pleased to say that NO Dragons were killed in this adventure.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Which finished with zombie parents (a result of the plague) a cure of Mentos (the coloured variety which are obviously more magical) and a great battle. No parents, children or squires were killed in this adventure but hey, you can’t have everything. Now just give me a minute to calculate my XP because I’m sure I levelled up and next time I am totally going to kick that Black Knights arse.

Final series of pictures we had to share:

Dad (Kristian) attacks Hanne. But Hanne knows half sword. And Dad dies.

Go kids with swords!

 

 

Four thou shalt not count …

“Therefore I should also say something here about the qualities of people, who in this art of combat can naturally be divided into four categories, and thus four kinds of combatants are to be found based on diligent observation …” – J. Meyer, 1570

Where Oliver gets some last minute advice from Master Raske …

Pants do not maketh the man—however cool they look—such is the wisdom Master Raske has just taught me. That’s in between laughing and face palming and what’s wrong with the suggestion that Red Dragon or Spes bring out some Iron Man gauntlets anyway. I’m sure lots of people would go for them and they don’t have to have the cool energy stream/knock-the-other-guy-on-his-arse feature which even I can see would be an unfair advantage.

Speaking of unfair advantage the second pools is starting in ten, and I’m up first which means I’m fighting in ten and AHHHHHHH!!!!

‘Any last minute advice?’

‘Know your opponent. Remember the four types out of Meyer.’

‘Maybe.’

‘I gave it to you last week. Did you read it?’

‘Oh yes.’ Reading. That’s something I can get right. ‘Of course, I read it.’

‘That’s good.’ Master Raske has the same very patient look on his face the Marshal had when I went up for the gear check without my mask. ‘Do you remember it?’

‘Yes. No. Maybe.’ I tug at my gorget. ‘I don’t know. I did read it and you said Eliot’s a one and I’m a three, on a good day—which this isn’t—and two’s okay but don’t be a four and five is right out but I think that was Josh quoting Monty Python and the Holy Grail and now it’s mixed up with killer rabbits in my head, which is just what I feel like without the killer bit and I know I’m not ready for this and…’

‘Stop.’

I stop.

‘Breathe.’

I breathe, which I’ve sort of forgotten to do in the last minute. ‘But what about…?’

‘Just breathe, Oliver. You know how to do that.’

This is true. I’m an asthmatic so breathing when I’m stressed is something I do know how to do. In, out, in, out and I’ve been worse than this and managed to breathe.

‘Pick up your sword and give me the first warm up pattern.’

I can do that too. Ox to Plough, keep working the hangers until the sword is light in your hand.

‘Now the second, Oliver. With the handworks.’

This one’s trickier, but I have been practising and Josh’s competition feder, which he lent me for the novice tourney, is moving quickly and precisely.

… And the first are those who, as soon as they can reach the opponent in the Onset, at once cut and thrust in with violence. The second are somewhat more moderate, and do not attack too crudely, but when an opponent has fully extended with a cut, fallen low with his weapon, or else has bungled in changing, they chase and pursue rapidly toward the nearest offered opening. The third will only cut to the opening when they not only have it for certain, but have also taken heed whether they can also recover from the extension of the cut back into a secure parrying, or to the Defense Strokes; I also mostly hold with these, although it depends on what my opponent is like. Now the fourth position themselves in a guard and wait thus for their opponent’s device; they must be either fools or especially sharp, for whoever will wait for another person’s device must be very adept and also trained and experienced, or else he will not accomplish much …

You can do this, Oliver. Now tell me, what is the first fighter like.

‘Eliot,’ I instinctively take a defensive pose and I think about fighting my best friend. ‘Violent, stupid and cultivating frenzy.’

 

‘But a surprisingly effective strategy with a longsword,’ Master Raske says. ‘Since they always ready to strike for the openings they will often defeat an opponent who is also worrying about attacking safely.’

‘Don’t think, just zwerchau,’ I say quoting my friend.

‘Precisely, says Master Raske. ‘So if you’re facing that, don’t just stand there and take it. If you respond with passive parries you’ll lose the initiative and get hammered. Get off line. Use the schielhau. Out range your opponent. Counter cut. Counter thrust to the face or chest (while stepping off line of course!) And JUST DON’T STOP UNTIL YOU’RE OUT OF MEASURE OR UNTIL THE MARSHALL CALLS HOLD- because sure as eggs, they won’t.’

‘Or you can use the second type of fight against them.’

‘That’s chasing to the openings, isn’t it? Meyer said they were artful and sharp. And you said they use a lot of counter techniques.’

‘Yes.’ He watches me move my sword in a warm up pattern. ‘It’s a workable strategy against anyone who is ready to take a swing at you.’

‘Which is a lot of fencers.’

‘Yes, but not all. And it can come unstuck if your opponent doesn’t obligingly stop after you’ve hit them.’

Won’t the Marshall see that?

‘It depends how fast it is, and how clear and what side of the arena they’re on. Marshalls aren’t superheroes. If you’re just voiding and not defending your first shot and then they attack back it can be very unclear who’s hit who. So redouble your attacks WITHOUT over extending yourself.’

Anything else?’

Try to set them up. You’re a bit inexperienced for that but if you see an opportunity you can offer opening that you have the counter for prepared. I’ve seen you and Eliot do that to each other. Fake them out. Look for the predictable patttern’s of response, and use them against them.

‘What about three?’

He grins. ‘They can be tricky. I love fighting a three because they don’t stop thinking.’

‘Judicious and deceitful,’ I quote. ‘You said that was my strength.’

‘It is, Oliver, when you keep your head. That’s when you’re capable of responding in different ways to the same stimulus, so you’re not easy to figure out.’

‘You figure me out.’

‘I’m your instructor, they’d be something wrong if I couldn’t figure you out.’

‘Mmmm. Suppose so.’ My agreement is not what you’d call whole hearted. ‘One day I’ll figure you out Master Raske.’

‘Perhaps you will.’ He sounds a lot more gracious about it than me. ‘Threes do watch carefully so be careful not to give yourself away by tells or preparations. You’ll l need unexpected rhythms and combinations against them. Techniques will rarely work multiple times. And don’t be provoked, or allow your-self to become overextended with an attack.’

‘So what works against them?’ I thinking this being a three sounds pretty good.

‘Hitting them,’ Master Raske says. ‘If you get the upper hand you can keep the pressure up. Provoke and beat them aside from low guards to spur them into action, and pounce on them when they do. They’re thinking and that’s their advantage so you have to push them where they won’t have a space to think.’

‘Into four.’

In your case, yes. Four is trying to provoke and failing because they’re too defensive or simply to silly.’

‘Foolish?’

‘Yes, foolish with the guards and attacks they are choosing. And timid or foolish in their attacks, relying too much on defences dependent on speed or skills they may not have.’

Don’t be a four.

‘And so you hit them?’

‘Yes, you hit them- zwerchau till it hurts. Their responses are highly predictable, so you play into that. You can authenticate yourself by strong attacks, and then fake them out. Get them chasing your sword. Mix up your attacks – different lines, cuts and thrusts – pretty basic stuff. Just watch out doubles if they startle into a panic response.’ He looks down at me. ‘Which is not the way I want you to score points.’

 

‘So three not four.’

‘That’s right,’ Master Raske hands me my mask. ‘You can do this Oliver.’

‘I can?’

‘Sure you can.’ Josh gives me a grin and a slap on the back for luck. ‘But remember, kid. Four thou shalt not count,’

I pick up my sword as they call Oliver Fitzgerald to the blue arena and grin back. ‘And five is right out,’ I say, as I walk towards the ring.

“… Now as the first ones are violent and somewhat stupid, and as they say, cultivate frenzy; the second artful and sharp; the third judicious and deceitful; the fourth like fools; so you must assume and adopt all four of them, so that you can deceive the opponent sometimes with violence, sometimes with cunning, sometimes with judicious observation, or else use foolish comportment to incite him, deceive him, and thus not only betray him concerning his intended device, but also make yourself room and space for the opening, so that you can hit him that much more surely.”

… and five is right out!

HEMA: it’s not about the pants …

“Fencing pants do not give you extra hit points. They are not a magic item that help you level up.”

A return to our fictional blog series about Oliver Fitzgerald and his HEMA adventures …

My gambeson’s too hot, my gorget’s too tight, and my mask is cutting off my air supply; not to mention the fact that my sword has gained at least two kilos in weight and my gauntlets are flopping on the end of my fingers like clown shoes. There’s no way I can fight with this stuff.

And it all seemed fine when I used it yesterday.

But yesterday I wasn’t warming up for my first ever interclub tournament.

‘I’m not ready.’

our sartorially challenged squire in his terrifying tracky daks

‘Yes, you are.’ Master Raske sounds bored but then we’ve had this conversation about a million times already. “I wouldn’t be allowing you to compete if I didn’t think you were ready.’

‘They’re older than me.’ I look over to the guys in their cool spez jackets and fencing breeches. ‘And you can tell they know what they’re doing.’

Master Raske follows my eyes to the group in the corner discussing, by the sound of the snippets of conversation, the latest superhero movie and precisely what was wrong with it. ‘How?’

‘Well, look at them.’

Master Raske does so. ‘I’m looking.’

It’s not like Master Raske to be so obtuse. ‘They’ve got the pants,’ I explain. ‘The awesome fencing pants and all I’ve got is some old trackie daks. Why are you laughing?’

He’s more than laughing, he’s completely breaking up. ‘News flash, Oliver,’ he says when he can speak again. ‘This is a tournament not a fashion parade. Clothes do not maketh the man.’

the cool guy in their pants. these chaps do know what they’re doing, but these skills are not dependent on their pants. some pants help, though. don’t fight without pants.

‘Huh?’

‘Fencing pants do not give you extra hit points.’ He’s still chortling. ‘They are not a magic item that help you level up to the next grade.’

‘I know that.’ I’d get offended only don’t think it would work. ‘I know it’s not a role playing game. It’s just that, isn’t it only good fencers who have all the gear?’

‘No.’

‘But? What do they have then?’

‘Skill, experience. Focus on what’s important.’

I’d roll my eyes except that always makes me feel like they’re about to drop out of my head. ‘I mean, what gear do they have?’

‘Mask, gauntlets, box, gorget, gambeson, elbows…’

‘Not that.’ He isn’t getting what I mean but at least it’s taking my mind off the fact that the pools are going up soon. ‘Everyone has that. What do the really good fencers have?’

‘Swords.’

‘What?’

‘Lots of swords.’ He looks down at the bag at his feet. ‘More swords than they should be able to use. Good gauntlets.’ There’s a pause while he considers that. ‘That still need repairing or breaking in or that they need to get back off a student they’ve just lent them to. A gambeson that qualifies as a biological hazard because they didn’t air it out after the last tournament.’

You came here to fight? Weird, I just came here for the cool pants

This last point is unfortunately very true. ‘What about a mask?’ I say. ‘You told me the first piece of gear I should buy is a mask.’

‘After a training sword, yes, that’s right.’

‘So I can paint it like Ironman.’ I fiddle with the plain school mask I’m wearing. ‘I’m sure I’d fight heaps better if this was painted like Ironman.’

Master Raske face palms. I don’t think we’re on the same wave length here. ‘I didn’t suggest you buy a mask so you could paint it like Ironman. Were you planning to put gold highlights on your fencing pants?’

This is an awesome idea. ‘Can you get them in red?’ I ask. ‘That would really work if you could get them in red.’

Master Raske double face palms. ‘I’m not sure I can take much more of this. How about you go and see what pool you are in.’

It’s the second. Instant relaxation as I realise this means I’m not fighting for another hour. And I now can take my—unfortunately not painted like Ironman—mask off. ‘But what do I do now?’

‘Now,’ says Master Raske, taking my mask and sword and sitting me down on a bench. ‘We are going to discuss what’s important, and not important, about your first HEMA gear.’

Now THESE are some cool fightin’ pants. All fighting pants should have a silk embellished codpiece

————————————————————————-

HEMA gear: some first steps …

So what are you here for? To learn a martial art? Fitness? Competition? This advice really isn’t going to be useful unless we know what you want to do. My HEMA is not your HEMA. So one size fits all advice isn’t likely to be any more use than a stinky oversized gambeson.

You don’t know yet? Fair enough. You’re just getting started – you don’t know exactly what you want to get out of HEMA, all you know is that swords are cool. Which they are. But immediately after you get a basic training sword/waster/simulator (depending on your budget), you’re going to need some basic protective gear so you’re not borrowing someone else’s stuff all the time.

Key risk areas in HEMA are head, hands and joints – in that order. Those parts of our bodies are fragile – treat them with care! So you’ll need a mask, some decent gauntlets, and a gorget. Because you don’t want to be injured; it really cuts down on training time.

Mask, Gloves, Gorget

Any three-weapon fencing mask should be fine for HEMA. Newton rating is irrelevant – that only refers to the bib. Level 2 mesh however, is good if you can get it. Don’t buy something super cheap, it’ll get chewed up. Just make sure it fits well. Most online sources now have excellent resources to determine your fit.

Gauntlets are a big area. Most HEMA people have far too many gauntlets, and for good reason. Hands are super fragile and get hit a lot. But dexterity is very important in unarmoured styles – hence the constant search for something that combines dexterity and protection. Don’t even start talking to me about the Progauntlet – I prefer unicorns, they’re less mythical.

One thing that we have a lot of experience in HEMA so far is what sucks to use and will get you hurt. Here are a list of BAD ideas for hand protection, and their accompanying injuries:

The HEMA Hall of Shame

*Motocross gloves: many nasty injuries associated with these, they offer almost no protection.
*Mail gauntlets (that’s “chainmail” to the uneducated): Just say no! I had a finger opened to the bone through them.
*lacrosse gloves: kinda OK for plastics, and they last well. They’re made for large sticks, not narrow blades, so they are often bulky and have openings wth little or no protection. Be prepared to mod them to make them safe. You often have pay more for the good versions than they are worth in the end. Many, many HEMA people have had hand breaks using these. I know I’ve been responsible for one (sorry Alex!). Much less good than you think. Check out this link if you’re thinking of going with them.
*Re-enactment style leather gauntlets: almost never have appropriate thumb protection, so awful thumb breaks and bruises here. Often have poor dexterity as well. Only use them as a stop-gap and be ready to mod. Also, will generally degrade quickly compared to other designs.
*Steel gauntlets: The high end ones are OK, but there are better solutions out there. But what is bad about them is that they fall apart and many low end ones have major vulnerabilities. Add that people will hit your hands hard because they think you’re really well protected, and when they fail it’s spectacular (again, sorry James!). They’re also heavy, and that affects your sword work significantly (think 1 kg dumbbells on your hands). Even the good ones tend to require a lot of maintenance.

To start off with you only need something like the Red Dragon gauntlets. These may not be competition grade (especially for longsword) but they’ll work to begin with for drilling and in house freeplay. DO NOT use them in steel tourneys without major mods or leather covers for the fingers!!!

Now I know you may be going “But I want gauntlets that I can use for everything.” So do I. And as soon as you find them, let me know, we’ll make a killing on them. If you have anxiety about hurting your hands (maybe you’re a musician or someone who works with them) then you’ll need to wait until part two of this post, where we’ll look at broader options. Or check out this link.

buy or make a decent rigid gorget like the one shown here. Or risk Master Raske’s wrath. Seriously, he will stab you. Just not in the neck, he’s good like that.

Finally, you’ll need a gorget. A solid rigid one. Beware a lot of stuff on the market at the moment – they are not rigid and they are very unsafe. Yes, they can be uncomfortable and take some getting used to, but yes, you absolutely need one. You know what’s uncomfortable? A crushed trachea or burst blood vessel in your neck. There has been at least one recorded death in the SCA from use of poor neck protection. Your mask bib WILL NOT DO, even if it is reinforced. The point of a sword can easily ride up under the bib.

Destroyer Modz do a great looking gorget, and Winter Tree Crafts do nice simple steel ones. Or just talk to your local SCA group – they’ll have someone who can knock one up. Or you could make one yourself – they’re a simple project, and there are heaps of patterns available on the net. Like here or here.

That’s about it to get started for training, drilling and light freeplay in a controlled manner. You may need a few more bits and bits and pieces of sports PPE for elbows, knees, forearms, and so forth dependent on your style, but you’ll find these easy to source at sports stores, 2nd hand stores, online classified sales sites and bunch of other places. But don’t forget your box (i.e. cup) boys!

But you know what’s no on this list? Fencing pants. They look cool, but don’t make your HEMA about the pants.

this guy loves his pants

FINAL NOTE: Oliver says he still wants Iron man pants—and who doesn’t—but get the gauntlets, mask and gorget first.

Reality, fantasy, and the story of HEMA

 

When we dream, we put together bits and pieces from our lives, our hopes and our fears and we jumble them together in a kaleidoscope of images that often bear no relation to reality. And when we wake that kaleidoscope comes into our conscious mind and affects the way we feel and even the way we act and the line between reality and a dream is always fluid and never fixed.

And that is the case with fiction. A writer takes bits and pieces from her life, from other’s lives, a student who’s got a good head and good measure and a problem with standing firm becomes a nerd growing into a knight. An old episode with a neighbour and a baseball bat becomes a flash-point. And techniques like the noble sheep grip and vom tag become solutions and comic by-play.

But then the dream comes into the waking world and the story changes. And Oliver starts effecting Joseph not just the other way around and that’s a tale I have to share. So this is the first of what I hope will be a new series of stories.

Stories about not just Oliver, but Joseph, the fencer who inspired him. Stories of fact as well as fiction. Stories of courage and chivalry, gentleness and prowess, scholarly debate and childish boasting, the story of the hundreds of nerds out there who have picked up a sword and become a knight.

The story of HEMA.

But first let me share with you the first time I noticed Oliver influencing Joseph.

Poleaxes are Awesome

“Strike in and hasten forth;
rush to, let it hit, or go by.”
-Liechtenaur

All the poleaxing!

And it is not surprising that they are the other weapon (as well as longsword) that you see knights use. And though I refuse to budge from my allegiance to the sword I have to admit that poleaxes are seriously kick-arse and if I was facing a dragon of any significant size I would probably like to have a poleaxe as well as a sword.

And although this post is normally about me (Oliver) and my study of German longsword today I am going to talk about Mark and ASA and poleaxes.

Mark (the one in the burgundy hat) with two of his Pages at the Fair.

Mark is the head of Adelaide Sword Academy and he often poses for Master Raske in the videos. ASA is the group that trained Joseph and Kai and the other people that have appeared in this blog.  It’s a lot like St George’s Fechtschule except that Mark trains people from age 7 up and they do armoured fighting as well as HEMA longsword and rapier.

I think we should do this too but when I mentioned it to Master Raske he said:

1. We need to learn to use our first weapon properly before we move on to our second
   1. But IF we pass our squires test he will start us on half sword which is the first stage in armoured combat.
2. BUT we need to learn to control ourselves before he is letting us loose with a poleaxe.
3. Since large dragons are not common in suburbia he thinks this decision will not endanger our lives (OR MORE IMPORTANTLY ANYONE ELSE’S!!!)
4. He will consider starting a Juniors class.

FYI, this is what “smiting”looks like 🙂

So though our conversation could have benefits for the next generation—who will learn swordplay early and avoid nerd loserdom and probably repay us by kicking our arses—it did not achieve its desired effect of turning Eliot and me into poleaxe wielding maniacs. (Though once I start thinking of the trouble I’ve gotten in to with a baseball bat and what Eliot would do to me with a poleaxe I can see that Master Raske may have a point)

 But here are some of the cool things ASA did at the last medieval fair.

Killed their parents: which must be awesome fun though I do not think hitting my mum with a sword (even a boffer sword) would change her mind about not trusting HEMA practitioners.

Parents lining up to be slaughtered. They know not the fury of the Pages… (mwahahaha!)

The Pages close in on a pesky Ogre

Fought with steel (AT AGE 10!) Talk about unfair to us non sword-fighting infants who had to make do with poor quality lightsabers and imagination.

Page Bianca fighting Mezzin the Squire

Had some great longsword battles: This one here is Joseph (in red) vs Hamish (in leather). Hamish wins this one but Joseph got his revenge the next day.

Fought in armour with poleaxes:  Which is epic brutal because you have to hit a knight in armour multiple times before they go down. Master Raske says this is because, despite what you see in the movies, armour actually works.

If you liked that, here’s a compilation of ALL of the armoured fights. 🙂

The Trainee Squires celebrate St George’s Day, and Many Things Explained

“So if I’d been St George, I’d have taken down the Dragon like this … “

It’s St George’s day on Thursday  …

…. and as he is my all-time favourite saint —on account of him kicking serious arse—as well as being the patron saint of the Squires of St. George (actually trainee squires but that seriously drops the cool level) I thought I would do a post on him.

Besides as a trainee squire of St. George I try to behave with honour and chivalry and this sometimes gets me into a lot of trouble (see first two posts) and when this happens I usually ask myself: ‘Did this ever happen to the real St George?’

Fighting from Pflug

Pflug. Plough. This one I can do.

At least that’s what I think when on my second sword fighting lesson Master Raske shows us attacks from Flugh and sends us off to practise in pairs. I grab Eliot, a mask and one of the Hanwei practise swords (which don’t look like Glamdring or Lion claw but are still epic cool) and prepare to be awesome. The sword is light and well balanced in my hands and I think how Eliot will be impressed as I bring the sword into Pflug.

She isn’t.

‘Not like that, Fitz.’ Eliot lifts her own sword and scowls at me down the blade. You’re getting it all wrong.

‘No, I’m not.’

‘Yes, you are.’

‘No, I’m not.’ I look down at my hands holding the sword in the position made famous by Obi wan Kenobi facing Darth Vader (at the beginning of the fight not the end when he’s trying to die so I don’t see what Eliot’s problem is). ‘I know how to do this.’

Eliot rolls her eyes in a gesture that is sufficiently clichéd it doesn’t need a particular movie to be famous. ‘Suit yourself, Fitz. You go first.’

She’s got the sword on her right hip and it’s not even angled across her body so I do an oberhau (overstrike) to her left side and for about half a second I think I’m doing well.

Till she beats my point down and smacks me in the face (with sufficient force that I’m very pleased I’m wearing a mask). ‘Told you it was a stupid guard.’

‘It’s not a stupid guard,’ I insist because surely five Star Wars movies (the last one doesn’t count) can’t be wrong. ‘Let me try again.’

Not ready to cut, not providing a threat, not ready to do anything really, but lightsabers are still cool

She shifts her sword to her left hip. ‘Okay.’

This time I try a stab and when she pushes it down I hold the point on line.

And Eliot grabs the sword.

‘What!’ I say.  ‘You can’t do that.’

Eliot keeps hold of my sword and hits me across the mask again. ‘I just did.’

‘But you can’t grab a sword.’

‘Yes I can.’

‘Yes she can,’ Master Raske confirms. ‘As long as she doesn’t mess about. Plenty of sources for sword grabs as well as all the half sword techniques.’ He gives me a look that has a bit too much understanding in it. ‘It’s a sword, Oliver, not a lightsaber.‘

Yes, you can grab a sharp sword. Just do it properly and don’t let go!

‘That’s what I told him,’ says Eliot but Master Raske silences her with his hand.

‘So are you still interested?’ he says to me. ‘Now you know it’s not quite like the movies.’

And even Eliot’s quiet while she waits for my answer.

But I feel how the sword in my hand moves and I look at Eliot who is four inches shorter than me (and I’m not tall) and who has just kicked my arse and I think about how this art of fencing is real and not just in someone’s imagination and…there’s only one possible answer.

‘Shit, yes,’ I say.  ‘So Eliot, how do I hold the sword in Pflug?’

Pflug

Pflug is one of the simplest guards, and yet it’s the most likely to be messed up – as per aforementioned the “hold it like a Jedi knight” pose”. Master Raske says that’s for people who care more about keeping the blade in the picture frame than fencing.

You should hold Plough on one side – the left or the right, by your hip, with the point held at the opponent’s throat. Later masters (like Meyer) will tell you to hang it by your knee, but that requires more flexibility and strength than I have at the moment. The reason we do this is that it only leaves one side open, so that makes defending your opening much easier.

On the left hip, we hold Pflug with a thumb grip. So you don’t get smacked in the fingers when you’re parrying.

Right Pflug

Left Pflug

Pflug from Joachim Meyer (1570)

Remember, keep the point up, because no one likes a floppy Pflug. (I still don’t know why everyone thinks that’s so funny.)

Attacks

The attacks from Pflug are pretty obvious. You thrust. Even if you cut, thrusting first is a good idea. You can also thrust up into an Ochs-like position, which I think looks pretty epic.

And like I said, it’s important to be able to flow off your thrusts into a cut. This is a nice compound attack because you can use it to fake out your opponent into covering a different opening. Any cuts are good – oberhau, unterhau, or even the master cuts. You should practise all of them.

The last attacking skill we’ll use from Pflug is changing through. This is just a little circle with the point under the blade, to thrust again on the other side. If you can mix up cutting and changing through you’ve got some good potential attack combinations coming along.

Defences

Pflug is a defensive guard. I mean, that it is both strong position to parry from, and a parry at the same time; It’s easy to raise up into Ochs to defend against a high blow, and you can use it to defend against a low blow. Solid.

Master Raske reminds us that Ochs and Pflug go together. What pulls a Plough (Pflug) – an Ox! So we use them together to defend our openings, against both cuts and thrusts.

One of the other defences we can use from Pflug is a Hanging, or Hengen. We learnt this last time with Ochs, and it’s even easier to do from Pflug. Just parry raising your arms and dropping the tip, swinging the sword in a circle to counter-attack. Make sure you step out nicely as you do.

Finally, there’s heaps of cool grappling moves you can pull off from Pflug. Like a hilt hook, a pommel, or using the neck to leverage your opponent down. Check out the video to see how these work.

See you again soon!

Attacks from Vom Tag and why it is a good thing that Jack Donaldson does not want to come to the attention of his parole officer

The story so far.

In case you’ve only just discovered this blog it is the story of how I, Oliver Fitzgerald went from total loser (nerd) to kick-arse fighter (knight). This transformation happened when I learnt the coolest martial art in the world, aka German Longsword.

But knights—like superheroes—must use their powers for good and—unlike superheroes—do not usually have an alter-ego to hide behind so when I took a baseball bat off a Jack Donaldson (bully) I ended up in trouble with the police.

And my martial arts instructor, Master Raske, but at least he understood about Vom Tag and slaying dragons and though he said doing Krumphau with a baseball bat was a new level of stupidity even for a trainee squire he does believe that I didn’t mean to hurt Jack.

By the look on Sargent Harris’s face I doubt the police will be as understanding.

‘You’re in a lot of trouble young man, a lot of trouble.’

‘What about Jack?’ I want to say, but after a look at Master Raske (there as my adult support person so that I can delay being killed by my mother until all this is over) I content myself with the ever useful, ‘Sorry, Sir.’

The Sargent doesn’t look mollified. He holds up the report Constable Olssen took and I wait for questions about the noble sheep grip (the wrestling technique that I used to take the bat off Jack which btw has nothing to do with sheep), Vom Tag (or roof, a guard) or other questions about the techniques of German longsword by policemen who don’t actually want to know, which is a pity because I would much prefer explain longsword than my behaviour.

‘Why did you hit him?’ he asks instead.

‘What?

The Sargent, whose got a faded red crew-cut and pale-blue cop-eyes and an expression—now I come to look at it—that says you can trust me, kid, provided you tell me the truth, asks again. ‘Why’d you hit Jack, Oliver? Was he threatening you?’

Yes. I want to say, because Jack is a bully and known to the police and that would be a perfect excuse for anything I did but along with defending the weak and showing courage a knight must also tell the truth.

‘No,’ I say. ‘Not then. He just wanted his bat back and Caleb was standing behind me and Jack was glaring at him and I wasn’t sure I had the skill or the guts to defend him twice and I didn’t think that would be a good idea.’

‘So.’ He looks at the report again and I am surprised to see that unlike hospital nurses and teachers he seems to have actually read it. ‘Jack’s on the ground and you’ve got his bat in this voom-tag grip.’

‘Vom Tag,’ I correct. ‘And it’s a guard not a grip though hand position is important and..’

An ice-quick look at both me and Master Raske confirms that my comment is neither taking the piss nor relevant. ‘And he asks for the bat back. Did he threaten you?’

‘He called me a crazy nutter.’ Sargent Harris’s expression shows some understanding of this. ‘But he didn’t threaten me then, he just held out his hand.’

‘Which you hit.’

‘It was just a tap.’ I think about how Jack had sworn and held his arm. ‘It was supposed to be a tap,’ I qualify, ‘but I guess the crossed arms gave it percussive force and…’

The Sargent’s still looking like an advertisement for one of those British cop shows (where the actors are half as beautiful and twice as tough as their American counterparts) and Master Raske is still looking cross at my inappropriate use of Krumphau and I may as well know the worst so.

‘Are you going to charge me with assault?’

‘No.’

‘What? I mean, that’s good but?’

‘I could charge you.’ His expression, as well as his words, makes that very clear. ‘Under Australian law you have the right to defend yourself but NOT to attack once you have the upper hand.’

I had the upper hand? I suppose I did.

‘Is that clear?’

Yes. Very clear. Much clearer than our legal studies teacher and if Sargent Harris wasn’t so obviously a born cop he should consider a career in teaching and … he’s still waiting for me to respond.

‘Yes,’ I say. ‘Very clear. Thank you. Can I go now?’

‘After you’ve signed the report that will be made of this incident.’

I’m going to have a police record? Mum is going to kill me. ‘But then I can go?’

‘Then you can go,’ he admits. ‘But if something like this happens again?’

‘It won’t,’ Master Raske says and I realise I’m still in trouble. ‘But what if Jack wants to press charges,’ he adds. ‘What happens then?’

Sargent Harris and me look at each other and I think we’re both thinking about Jack Donaldson, and how he’s already been in trouble with the police and how he’s not going to want to come to the attention of his parole officer again and how giving a dog a bad name is not always unjust and…

‘I don’t think we’ll have a problem with that,’ the Sargent says. If you’ll wait in the other room Oliver, I want to have a word with Mr. Raske here.’

And as I close the door behind me I hear him say. ‘Colin Raske, what on earth have you been teaching that boy?’

Roof

So we thought the next thing you needed to know was about the guards. About how to use them and what you can do from each of them – your offenses and defenses.

So while we’re on the topic, here’s how NOT to hold Vom Tag.

Not with you right foot forward – you won’t be able to step with your cut.

Not ‘lazy’ vom tag. This guard is all about powerful cuts. Why would you hold it in a way that can’t make powerful cuts?

And NOT with the point trailing back over your back. I’m exaggerating here, but it’s just dumb.

Like this! With the sword on your right shoulder, ready to make a powerful cut. Beacause from Roof, that’s pretty much what you do – you cut. You can make all of the father cuts (oberhau, unterhau and mittelhau) and all of the master cuts from Vom Tag. And you can use those cuts for offence and defence. Ideally, for both!

OFFENCES

We’ve covered these before – oberhau and unterhau, but the video gives you more help about how to practise them too.  I’m practIsing these skills in it because I’m still working on my basics. You can see that although you might think making a cut is easy there are lots of things that go wrong. A good fencer never stops working on their basics.

Just remember:

1. The point or edge lead you straight to the opening. Cut as directly as possible.
2. Your sword is your shield – step behind it so that you are better protected against a counter-attack.

You can also throw thrusts from Roof. If you cut an oberhau a little bit short, this sets up the point for a follow up attack (It’s also a zornhau). And as the unterhau ends in och, you can make a thrust from there too. Every cut has a thrust. This will be very useful for defences.

DEFENCES

Surprise! We’re cutting again! Against most attacks you cut strongly onto your opponents sword, beating it down or aside, and ending with a thrust. This is one of my favourite things to do. It’s pretty simple, if you have a good sense of distance. You want to cut so that you control your opponent’s sword. More on that in the video.

Stabs, however, can be pretty tricky to deal with in Vom Tag. It’s very easy to miss them, or be deceived by them. So against a stab, we step a little off to the side and beat down the point with an oberhau or krumphau. I’ve talked a lot about krumphau. So does Master Raske – “If you don’t know what to do – krump!” So using it against Jack was completely understandable – I was just doing as Master Raske said.

Nup, pigs will fly before that argument does.

But back to swordplay. Finally, if they’re attacking low (like for your legs) you can out-range them by slipping your legs back and striking to a high target. This called an uberlauffen (over-running) and it’s dead simple. It’s also the reason why our low strikes with the longsword are quite high (to the hips, with the hands high). Otherwise we’d be in real danger of this strike.

That’s it for this week. Look out for next week, when we do Ochs.

Squire Joseph, Krumphau, and Epic Cool Swordplay

Since this post is about my alter ego Joseph’s defensive use of krumphau (which Master Raske says is MUCH BETTER than using it to hit temporarily unarmed bullies—and I could learn something here) and the awesome move by which he won competitors choice at the last tourney I thought it would be a good opportunity to tell you more about him.

A real Paladin. This is more my kind of thing.

Joseph is not me. For a start I have a Facebook page and he doesn’t (so who’s the real one here?). Joseph only uses the internet for gaming (and maybe homework because like me he’s a bit of a geek) and he has a steam account instead.

Also his favourite RPG character is a Battle-mage (armoured up Gandalf with extra fire-power) whereas I prefer playing a paladin (chivalric knight) so you can see we are nothing alike. (Catch Tilly—who writes this stuff down—says that is not a big distinction but I bet if Joseph’s Battle wizard was singing her eyebrows off, which he might do because unlike my Paladin he would not necessarily be chivalrous, she would see that the difference is quite significant).

A battle mage. Like this, except with more armour.

And I am an only child but Joseph has a younger sister and brother.  Also his parents are completely awesome and totally support his interest in medieval fencing.  This is not the case with me. My mother (who is normally okay) does not approve of martial arts and I haven’t seen my father since I was eight. (And considering what I remember of him before then this is a good thing too).  So you can see that Joseph has done better than me in the family stakes.

And I think that’s why he’s a better fencer than me (though to be fair he’s been doing it for six months longer) because even when you are sixteen years old (like both if us) and completely independent family does make a difference.

But we both love longswords!!! Although my favourite guard is Vom Tag whereas Joseph prefers Ochs. And that is quite a significant difference as you will see when we start our series on Attacks and Defences from the Guards (and I finally find out just how much trouble I am in with the police) but for now it’s back to Joseph.

And the coolest move of the day!

Except that there really isn’t any such thing as “the middle feint” – Joseph just made that up because a cool sword fighting move needs an name. Master Raske says that it’s a “Failer”, like the “Von Danzig” manuscript describes below:

The Failer is a technique which many fencers plan and hit with as they wish, and strike those who like parrying and fence to the sword and not to the openings of the body.

So use the failer – and do not fail!